What they have written about us

TEAM NAME: Apocalypse

GARAGE HEADQUARTERS: Lancaster, CA

DRIVER: Zantor Whipple

MECHANICS: Xordana Crow, Professor Heinz57, Norton Kilowatt, Colonel Sanders

NUTS AND BOLTS: People of Earth, Team Apocalypse has a message for you: Spokesperson Zantor Whipple intones gravely, “On September 26, 2009, a young scientist will unleash a deadly virus in downtown Los Angeles. This catastrophic event will lead to a massive outbreak of disease, the corporate takeover of the American government, and the downfall of civilization.” Then, proving that he’s not a total buzz-kill, the odd-looking explorer adds helpfully, “We are here to thwart that scientist.”

Zantor and his associates Xordana Crow, Professor Heinz57, Norton Kilowatt, and Colonel Sanders have time-traveled here from 285 years into our future, where the natural environment has been eradicated and a thick layer of toxic gases envelops the planet. In fact, Zantor relates that it’s lucky the evil scientist is planning to make his move in L.A. – our rescuers from the year 2294 aren’t accustomed to oxygenated air, and the smog-rich Los Angeles basin is one of the few places on today’s Earth where they can survive. The group has set up a remote base camp in Lancaster, where they are constructing a soapbox racer composed of detritus from our own era. “The original purposes of most of the items we’re using are unknown to us, but should be familiar to you; and our historians will be eager for any knowledge we can bring back with us,” Zantor states, inspecting a rusty shopping cart with a quizzical expression. Be sure to help them out, Soapbox spectators – after all, they’re here to save the world!